Welcome back, lovelies! We are at the end of Women’s History Month, and with that comes the end of this edition of my Sit Down Series. I can keep this going and make it a regular thing on the blog! Let me know in the comment section if you would be interested.
Today we are hearing from Trina Williams, a business owner and stay at home mother to two young sons. Trina’s earthiness and nurturing spirit inspired my inclusion of her in my interviews, because she always has wonderful advice and wisdom to share. I hope you learn something from her today!
Kam: Who do you take inspiration from?
Trina: Hmm…I guess I would say my mommy. She is my best friend…when my mom was around my age, she had the gift and talent of singing. She was very shy…my granddad really rode my mom, uncles, and aunts hard with their gifts and talents. Pretty much, my mom loved it so much that she was terrified of it. So she tried to eventually put herself out there and start singing, but I guess she felt like she missed her window, so then she stopped. And when I was born, and she realized how much I took to music, how much I was into all the things she was into and more, she wanted to feed that. She ended up losing her voice, I always call her the human Ariel [from The Little Mermaid], because she lost her voice to fear instead of Ursula, in a sense. I know that usually when you’re inspired by somebody, it’s because of all the awesome things they did. But my mom and her being fearful, and then trying to step out and own something that was stripped from her, was what inspired me. I told myself that’s a position I never want to be in…I literally pray that I never become so stuck in my fear that I don’t go for something.
Kam: What do you love most about what you do? I know you’re a stay at home mom, you have your headwrap business, you have everything you do.
Trina: My freedom. There are a lot of mommies that want to be home with their babies, and they don’t have that honor or privilege. A lot of hardworking single moms, they HAVE to work. They don’t get the option to pour into their children AND do what they love, especially nowadays, stuff is so expensive. Literally trying to provide for your family strips you from your family…especially when it comes to my boys, there’s a lot of outside influence. To say that they see me all the time…I know they are getting exactly what they need, their minds are not being poisoned. I get to be a top influencer, and that is so important. Especially with the relationship I have with my mom, I saw firsthand how important that was, to have that mom right there in my face, by my side…if I had a regular nine to five, I would have to kiss my son on the forehead, drop him off at school or daycare, and be done with that. Instead, the Lord has blessed me to be able to stay home…and seek my passions and do what I love.
Kam: How do you push through your tough moments?
Trina: I always push through, but how I do it is different every time. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I have anxiety attacks in pushing through…self-doubt. Sometimes I’m so at the bottom of pushing through that my physical health starts to be affected. Other times I’m affirming myself, other times I’m in my Word…I think to be at a high and have that “just keep swimming” Dory attitude, or being very in touch with your feelings, is very nonrealistic. Obviously, I would just keep swimming, but to think that it’s easy through every single obstacle, trial, tribulation, your character being built? Heck no, man. I have moments where I tantrum my way through a situation, because we’re human, and that’s just what happens sometimes. I may never be to that point where I can just smoothly sail through, but I’ll come to terms that I may always be that person that cries through to get to her next. And I’m fine with it.
Kam: What advice would you give to current and future women?
Trina: My queens, my mermaids and fairies, my flowers on the wall…first, I will say that everything you feel, our experiences we go through and watch others have, there is a beginning and end period. If a woman is dealing with hardship in her life, there’s a beginning and an end. In the middle of your situation, you shouldn’t be asking how long, but what you are to gain from it in that season…happy and joyous moments all come at different periods and have beginning and end periods. I would also say to not be overwhelmed with thinking of how your story ends. As women, we are future thinkers, we plan. All the women I know are nesters, we think ahead…I think that our mental, spiritual, and emotional logic all fight like siblings, and all have the same question: how does it end? We have to let that go, have to live in the now. We have to be allowed to get scrapes, bruises and boo boos. We have to be allowed to fall in and out of love (it’s how you explain to your daughter about knowing when he’s the right one!). It’s simple, but it’s the hardest thing for us to do because we were born to think ahead.
Kam: What do you love most about being a working woman? I interviewed my mother, who is the corporate working woman. I interviewed 2 of my designer mentors, who are entrepreneurial working women. You’re a combination of spiritual and entrepreneurial working woman, because you’re doing the Lord’s work.
Trina: Wow! My mind is blown [we both cried a little here lol]…One of the things I love most, spiritually speaking, is that I know from me being pruned through my trials and tribulations comes something beautiful. I know that original, handcrafted, one of a kind art work comes from that. In all my struggles, they had a beginning and an end period. If I look like what I went through, I would be a beast. But I don’t physically, emotionally, or spiritually look like any of that. The glory that God is going to get in me being able to talk to women years from now, who have shared my experiences and have no idea how they’re going to get past it. I can say “My sister, me too.” In that moment, in that ugliness, everything in that rose-colored glass is faulty, muddy, murky. When you see something standing on the opposite side, and it doesn’t look like what you are currently going through, and you’re like “me too? It’s possible to come out of that?” It’s not easy, but it’s possible.
Kam: Thank you for sharing your story with me!